At age 43, Dawnita Brown made a life-changing pivot.
She took leave from her secure government job, winnowed down her possessions, resolved her financial responsibilities, and in 2016, signed up for the Peace Corps. Volunteering in Eswatini was "amazing," she says — so much so that she planned to extend her time abroad in a paid position with the Peace Corps after her service ended.
She didn't know she was about to make another pivot.
In 2018, her mom, Joan Cain, had a stroke in her brain stem. Brown rushed home to Baltimore, preparing herself to say goodbye. Instead, her mom recovered, but with a challenging prognosis.
"So, I became her proxy," Brown says, and she stayed by Cain's side through rehabilitation and nursing facilities. Eventually, concerns about the quality of her mother's care led Brown to step away from her job, take her mom home and care for her herself, full time.
A huge number of today's 65-year-olds — more than two-thirds — will likely need some kind of long-term care as they age, whether it's in-home care, assisted living or a nursing home. Those services can easily cost more each year than what the average American makes.
And health insurers — both government and private — may not provide the necessary coverage.
That leaves many people to rely on unpaid family caregivers whose care AARP valued at $600 billion in 2021. That's more than half a trillion dollars worth of work done by people like Dawnita Brown.
As a household, Brown makes caregiving financially feasible through a patchwork of coverage, including Medicare, supplemental insurance and her mom's pension. And she's debt free thanks to the work she put in readying herself for the Peace Corps. "I haven't had a steady income in almost 10 years," says Brown. "I haven't paid into retirement. But I don't want for anything."
'It's a gift'
Brown's home is warm and inviting, much like herself. The brick row house is tastefully appointed with meaningful family artifacts and photographs, meticulously clean without feeling sterile.
On the day we visited, Brown had just returned from taking her dad, Bill Lee Brown, to physical therapy. She cares for him, too. Although Bill and Joan are not a couple, he moved into the home in 2024 after complications from his multiple myeloma diagnosis made it hard for him to live alone.
So, while her mom's upstairs, her dad is downstairs. Between them, doing countless flights of stairs a day, Dawnita Brown is holding it all together. Meting out prescriptions, preparing meals, scheduling appointments and calling for help when it's more than one person can handle. Caregiving is a role she didn't expect, but one she has leaned all the way into.
In 2021, Brown founded a community for fellow caregivers called the Binti Circle. The name comes from the word for daughter in Swahili.
"I started Binti because it was the community I needed and did not have," she says. They meet monthly, have outings and events, all with the goal of making a difference in the lives of caregivers, reducing stress and providing safety in community.
That way, Brown says, "you have more skills and tools that you need for this gift of caregiving, because it's a gift to be able to care for your parent, even though it's hard."
She says it was especially important to her to focus on Black daughters in caregiving roles. "The daughter holds it together," says Brown, even in difficult situations. "Looking at the fragility of your parent, processing the grief of losing the parent that you knew … that your mom doesn't know you."
She adds, "and you know what's even more challenging are those daughters that are caring for parents that did not parent them." In the Binti Circle, she has gathered "a community of daughters that understand and can empathize, with no judgment."
One of Binti's — and Brown's — core values is the importance of respite for caregivers.
"You know, most people think about self-care as nails and hair and massages," she says. Brown does those things, but taking care of herself also includes regular doctor's appointments and therapy, and simpler things, too. "It's breathing, just sometimes laying in my bed and breathing. And my devotionals, I always set the tone before I get out of bed."
And as positive and motivated as Brown is, she does feel down sometimes.
"Yesterday I was feeling kind of yucky," she says. "And so I got up and I found a … 'boost your mood' yoga workout." She has also built herself her own little getaway at home — an outdoor deck space furnished with thrifted and upcycled finds, succulents and a fire pit. She calls it her oasis.
"You are responsible for people," says Brown, so, "if you're no good, they're no good. And so, that's why I work very hard to take care of myself."
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